You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
