I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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