We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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