Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
