Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
