yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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