dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
