I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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