It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
