dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So vagazzling was a success
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
