If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
