So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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