I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
