Pants 0. Shit 1.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
