we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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