last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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