Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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