Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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