I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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