I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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