i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
