He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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