Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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