everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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