Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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