if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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