No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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