yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
