you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
