The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
