i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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