ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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