I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
