dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
