The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ok first of all what the fuck
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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