and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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