u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
