I want to make a zoo with you.
I puked a lego.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
