No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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