hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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