Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Randomize