Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
where does the pee come out of this thing
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
