was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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