Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
nutella sex= disaster
two words: eviction party
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
