he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
