I think I am morally bankrupt
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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