Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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