Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
