so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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