What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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