we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize