I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
