A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
