I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
