I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
