its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize