He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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