we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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