Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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